Just Say No

I was people watching whilst waiting for my Mango Magic smoothie when a couple interrupted me. I wasn’t really in a chatting mood and just hoped they were after directions.

Instead of asking for directions she asked me if I would be interested in attending a stage show. 

It’s not what I’d expect to be asked whilst waiting at a smoothie stall, but not wanted to be pestered, I replied short and to the point. “No, it’s not my type of thing”.

Instead of taking this as their cue to piss off and leave me alone she started blabbering on about this show and instead of cutting her off I let her talk, I smiled and pretended to be interested.  Then, hearing my accent, she started asking questions about me, how long had I been here for etc. 

Thinking if I told her I didn’t live here would get them to leave me alone – I told her I was travelling and was only here for a couple of weeks. 

“Oh, that’s good, the show is next Saturday. You could bring a friend along?”

They obviously didn’t hear me saying I wasn’t into stage shows.  But now instead of just flatly saying “No”, I made excuses…

One thing I’ve found with myself is that I very rarely say no.  I’m too eager to help people out or just go along with things for an easy life.  Something in my brain doesn’t let me say “no” and I’m never the best at thinking on my feet.  The best I came up with was:

“Well, I’d have to ask my girlfriend, but she’s not well at the minute, so I’m not sure she’d want to go”. 

As if it wasn’t enough to have an imaginary girlfriend, I was suddenly the only person in the world with a sick, imaginary, girlfriend. 

I thought I heard my name being called, which meant my smoothie was ready: I could escape.  But in all the confusion it wasn’t my name – I’d picked up and drank someone else’s smoothie.  I had to apologise (to a male with a real girlfriend) whilst they made another. 

This couple continued on at me, wanting me to buy tickets to their show, whilst all I could think of was who my sick girl was, what she looked like and what was her name?

They asked if they could take my phone number to follow up with me during the week to buy some tickets. Talk about the hard sell… anyone else would’ve said no at this point.  Not me, I agreed, whilst in my head I said ‘give them a fake number’, ‘give them a fake number’, ‘give them a fake number’.  Although I could make up an ill partner on the spot, I obviously can’t make up fake phone numbers…and gave them my phone number.  

I walked away slurping on my Mango Magic wondering what the hell had just happened.

True to their word, one of them called me back last night to ask if I was interested in buying a ticket.  Instead of just saying no, I told him my girlfriend had been rushed to hospital so we wouldn’t be able to make it.

I don’t think he’ll call back.


9 thoughts on “Just Say No

  1. 2 things (possibly 3)

    1 – if you are going to have an imaginary girlfriend you should at least make her healthy – there is nothing worse than never having imaginary sex with your imaginary girlfriend because she always has an imaginary headache….

    2 – Why didn’t you give them your imaginary girlfriends imaginary phone number?

    3 – Do you want to buy some Imaginary Olympic tickets? Now remember you are not allowed to say no and your imaginary girlfriend is up for it – I’m not sure how ill she is but I understand that she is taking part in the Paralympics…..

    You have one sick imagination my friend……

      • A Jehovah witness knocked at my door back in UK, she was gorgeous so instead of just closing the door I talked to her for a bit. At the time it was the highlight of my day. Maybe i was subconsciously going out with her.

        The ticketbotherer called me again on Wednesday. They don’t give up.

    • You’re full of good ideas after the event. Where we’re you when I was creating imaginary people?

      I couldn’t stop myself blurting out my number.

      Olympic tickets you say? Yes, No, how much? Yeah of course I’ll buy them no matter what the cost is. Give me a call…

  2. Haven’t been here in a while – my updater thingy in wordpress doesn’t seem to work these days so I don’t get the alerts like I used to…..

    …I know what you’re going through. I’m the same, I have real difficulty in just saying no. If you recognise their number on caller ID, you could just answer the phone “domino’s pizza, may I take your order please…..” or ” tickets ?? – no thanks, but can I interest YOU in an all inclusive orgy weekend ?? ”

    Dude….sorry to hear your out of the world pushup championships…..I was looking forward to competing against you there, although it sounds like you’d been training far harder than me. I’m working towards 2. Well….when I say “working towards”, they say 50% is mental right ?? I can do that bit…….

  3. Cool – If they leave an order, even better, offer them some free chicken dippers, and then laugh as they wait for a pizza that’s never going to turn up……Woo Haa Haa Haa Haa !!!

    …..hey, it would have been a great match up, and a superb marathon event. I’m sure after the first hour, we’d have been neck and neck on one each….. Still…..there’s always the situp championships next year… 😉

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