There seem to be more idiots on the pavement lately.  Do slow walking people realise how annoying they are?  Everyone wants to hit slow walking people in the back of the head.  Fact.

Somehow there seems to be more idiots on the pavements when it rains.  You have to try to get from A to B, by now dodging people trying to kill you with umbrella’s and people walking in random directions in their vain attempt to avoid getting wet: it’s raining, you’re not a ninja, you’re going to get wet.

You’d think a ten feet wide pavement, would be wide enough.  Somehow, by using their practiced formation walking, it’s possible for just two people to block the whole pavement.  Two people, causing human tailbacks longer than the M25.  Even walking behind them I have no idea how they achieve it, but they do.

There seems to be an unwritten rule to walk on the left over here – which I may have made up in my head, but I’m pretty sure others follow this ‘rule’ too (if they don’t, then I’ve been living in my own “pavement rules” world for the past 18 months.  I think it’s real, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen signs and everything…but I’m never gonna ask anyone incase I’ve made all this up in my head and they look at me like I’m a mental).  But whatever side you walk on, you’ve also got to contend with slow walkers – the slow HGVs of the pavement – and other oncoming humans.

People who shouldn’t be allowed on the pavement:

  • Slow walkers (the populace of an entire world region would fill this lane…but I don’t want to sound like Hitler by naming them)
  • People reading a book/smartphone/tablet…and expect other people to move out of their way (I currently, “accidentally”, bump into these people if they don’t look up to see where they are going)
  • Smokers…Is there anything worse than getting a face full of smoke because you happen to be walking behind a smoker? No. No there isn’t.
  • People who abruptly stop, with no warning, and make no attempt to move out-of-the-way of the sea of people behind or in front of them
  • Anything else on wheels that isn’t a pram: Cyclists, skateboarders, disabled’s.
  • Anyone else I got stuck behind tonight.

That should leave a clear, peaceful, walk home.


4 thoughts on “Walking

  1. I tried the walking into the slow moving trick but those Zimmer frames can really do some damage. The next thing you know you are limping along slowly and some bugger in a wheelchair runs you over. Leaving you dazed and confused on the pavement and easy prey to being walked on by even the low life that is a kindle reader…

    I have another to add to your list – Slow bloggers – You have been missed. It must be all that going out and getting a life… Even if it is upside-down.

    • BlackLOG
      Thanks for saying I’ve been missed…it’s not so much that I have a life…it’s more that I can’t be bothered to blog (I have time to, I read everyone elses etc). The ideas come in my head, but I don’t feel like I should blog them – I think I’m thinking too much about it, rather than just writing stuff like I normally do (or did). But I’m still here, so I’m trying to blog more-ish.

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