The first rule of twitter club

Words which should be banned from human consumption: any words relating to twitter, including (but not limited to):

twitter, twit, twits, twitting, twat, twatter, tweep, twee, tweet, tweeted, tweets, tweeter, tweeple, retweet. 

Whenever I hear anyone talk about twitter ‘the site that lets you send messages of up to 140 characters’, it annoys me.  Far more than it should.  It doesn’t sound right and as such, my brain processes it as a taboo subject.

Presenters on TV or radio sometimes look/sound uncomfortable talking about twitter ‘the site that lets you send messages of up to 140 characters’ too.  (David Dimbleby has  a look of utter distain when he has to announce the twitter address of Question Time each week).

I still struggle to understand how it’s integrated itself into everyday life.  Especially when half a segment on tv/radio is taken up by someone spouting about who has tweeted messaged who, and who has said what, in their own little z-list ‘celeb’ world: “Tweet us.  Follow us.  Re-Tweet us”.  No.  Stop talking nonsense. 

Although I use twitter an internet site to post short bursts of inconsequential information, and I also post stuff here, I’ve never embraced the whole social media thing – even though I’m always one of the first nerds to sign up to these things.

It took me an age to ‘get’ Facebook (even though the love affair and divorce with MySpace preceded it); it took me an age to ‘get’ this blogging thing too and it’s also taken me an age to ‘get’ tw……, but until it gives me that warm fuzzy feeling I doubt I will. 

If it had a better name it might be easier to let it slide (what’s wrong with a catchy name, like: “that site that lets you send messages of up to 140 characters dot com”?). 

Until then, I’m just pretending it doesn’t happen. 

The first rule of twitter club; do not talk about twitter club.

#twitter #annoying #socialmedia #isoundlikemydad

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15 thoughts on “The first rule of twitter club

  1. Agree. I use it, but I cringe when some pensioner on the BBC uses the terminology.

    News flash to all the media:

    Lindsey Lohan telling the world she just had a shit doesn’t = front page news.

    Oh…no…wait…it seemingly does.

    Gossip columns used to be made up drivel. Now they’re just 140 character statements we’ve already read 😦

  2. When the respectable news channels/newspapers started joining twitter and refered to it as if it was yet another one of their important devices, I knew twitter had taken over the world, so I stopped moaning and joined. I like it more than Facebook now (even deleted my Facebook) because there is some kind of privacy there. No one needs to know you for you to have genuine conversations, exchange opinions e.t.c.

  3. I can’t tear my eyes away from the words ‘Lindsay Lohan’. Yes, I am slightly infatuated with her. I met her a few years ago. I would have then and I still would now. I don’t want to hijack Cyn’s blog to talk about the almost endless merits of Lindsay Lohan but I will. Well no. I won’t. I’ll try and get some discipline back in to my life. Oooh, Lindsay Lohan and discipl… Soz. 🙂

    Anyway, in Olden Days there used to be two gossip queens in Hollywood. Hedda Hopper (1885-1966) and Louella Parsons (1881–1972). I only mention these facts just to prove that my head isn’t completely empty. But my point is that Hedda and Louella used to make up shit. In an ever increasing display of ‘mine’s bigger than yours’, these two old hags used to sit at their typewriters and, frankly, lie about the slebs they’d seen, lie about what the slebs had been doing and lie about when these slebs were supposed to have been doing these things. They were mean and malicious too. Each was employed by a rival newspaper (as well as being syndicated nationally) and, in their heyday, between the pair of them, they were responsible for 80% of the newspaper sales of the Western States. So, just for a moment, can you imagine how evil, bitter and twisted the outpourings of these two old hags would have been, if they had access to a webservice that allowed them to send messages of up to 140 characters? Christ, it would be hell on earth. And that’s why I don’t like the MSM using webservices like, erm, that one. I think they shouldn’t be permitted to infiltrate our lives in such a pernicious way.

    God, I’m really sorry for all that.

  4. Jo
    That’s it, I can’t fathom why the BBC allow it. They’d be better off without it as it seems to undermine them.

    ITV can use it though, most things they do are shit.

    dazedlittlemiss
    If it wasn’t refereed to in almost everything it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest.
    You deleted the book of face…that’s sacrilege (although I’ve deleted and rejoined at least twice).
    The internet is brilliant for anonymity….

    says Cynical Scribble 😉

    Brennig
    I don’t get Lindsay Lohan (or the mass media she somehow generates). She will, of course, be crushed by this news.

    That’s some top knowledge you have there, I doff my cap to you. I’m sure there must be people similar of similar ilk to Hedda Hopper and Louella Parsons. That weird Perez Hilton person for one.

    Forgive me for being a luddite but what is MSM? (I know “LOL” if that’s any good?) :p

  5. She will be devastated. I shall tell her should I ever meet her again. I’ll say… ‘You know that Cynical Scribble chap?’…

    sry abt the shrthnd, smetmes im sch a cnt. MSM = Mainstream Media. I know. It doesn’t fit. But it’s an industry shortening, not mine. If it were mine I’d just put: M.

  6. Does this mean you are closing your T____er account then? I like T____er much better than Facebook. I wouldn’t bother with Facebook if it weren’t for Cute Daughter and her friends and some other relatives. I do enjoy T____er because I post random thoughts and am not accused of muttering to myself. (at least not so much as usual)

  7. I do sometimes despair at the way some organisation try to latch onto social media yet ultimately management to completely fail to do so.

    Having said that, friends complain that I don’t ‘Facebook’ regularly enough. (When did that become a verb?). My usual answer is that a) I don’t feel like living with every minutia of my life in public, and b) Twitter gives that instant, fun and slightly more anonymous fix.

  8. Brennig
    Much obliged. “Lohan in attempted suicide” would be the headline if she were to ever find out.

    Thanks for the explanation.

    I still feel unusual
    Nope, my Tw…..is alive and kicking (there is still a link up there on the right *points up* for anyone wanting to stalk my sporadic attempts at being witty within 140 characters). I’m just moaning about every single living presenter needing to mention the t word every 5 minutes.

    Perpetual
    It’s embarrassing. Like the drunken uncle knobhead at a wedding, you just want them to stop being a gimp and to stop annoying everyone.

    I go on Facebook but very rarely use it for much the same reasons as you. That’s what this place and tw…. is for 😀

  9. I opened a Twitter tweeting account recently as I rad somewhere that it is good for promoting your blog & my Feedburner account automatically tweets my posts there to be tweeted abut. However I have only 1 follower because I just don’t get it & haven’t taken the time to follow anyone else. Therefore I am thinking of deleting as it seems a pointless venture to me. I also deleted my Facebook as that seemed just as pointless. I will just stick to blogging

  10. I can’t believe it has taken you all this time to work out my blog name. It’s probably the most creative thing I have done, certainly since the sculpture made from my snot and toenail clippings….

    • BlackLOG
      The Cuban air has done wonders for you…I look forward to more of this new found creativity.

      The Jenga like tower blocks of staples I constructed, whilst on work experience as a young scamp, are still the most creative things I’ve done. Them days flew by.

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