Wanting to dip my toes in the water

I’ve got a sudden urge to feel that relaxing warmth covering my body.  To make my body tingle in all the right places.  I want to sink down and bask in it’s after-glow. 

It’s been too long, but I think I’m about ready to tip my toes into the water again, even if it means getting myself scolded if things go wrong.

Yep, you’ve guessed it, I want to have a bath.

I haven’t had a bath for literally about 10 years.  I do shower daily (I don’t stink) – although I do sometimes fester in my own filth if I don’t leave the house (eeeewww, minging).

There is, however, one obstacle “Houston, we have a problem”.  We don’t have a bath that’s useable for bathing (I refuse to clean other peoples scum). 

This has led me to ponder if I’d survive a Darwin-esque attempt at a stand-up bath…by sealing the shower cubicle.  I’d more than likely never put this into practice – as the result would probably end up with my own fatality (as depicted in diagram 1).

diagram 1: the cubicle of deathshowerdeath

My Google searching falls short of finding a stand up bath tub too, obviously people are far too safety conscious these days.  It’s not like I’d go the whole hog and tie myself up in chains like a magician.

I’d never be able to take a bath in somebody else house either, so that’s out of the question.  So for the next few days I’m going to pine for a bath until I remember that I don’t really like having a bath…

Having a bath is good, until I realise I’m washing myself in my own dirt and end up having a shower anyway. 

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15 thoughts on “Wanting to dip my toes in the water

  1. ❤ The Cubical of Death drawing.
    love
    love
    love
    love love

    Ever since someone else mentioned to me about how baths have you stewing in your own ickiness, they've never felt the same, regardless of the amount of wonderful smelling products added.

  2. The Cubicle Of Death = awesome. But aren’t you going about this the wrong way? Why don’t you put a kitchen stool in the shower cubicle and have one sitting down? I’m with you all the way about cleaning other people’s mank. Eeew. Showers all the way for both of us here too. Except when Soph needs to shave her legs.

  3. Stephanie of Stopbouncing
    Thanks! The C grade I got in Art, many moons ago, has finally come in handy.

    Brennig
    You’re applying far too much common sense to my problem, shusssh! Although in my defence, we don’t have any kitchen stools 😀

  4. I will make it 100% who love your Cubicle of Death drawing. You could put that on a T shirt like Ross and sell them! Just sayin’!

    That was quite a rant and loads of bother for somebody who doesn’t REALLY want a bath after all! Sheesh!

  5. I agree with S.Le and your cubicle of death would be great as a t-shirt design. That could be your calling in life… t-shirt designer!

    I’m a shower person as well and I just get bored in a bath (and when your hair is long you can’t wash it properly). Sitting in your own dirty water is just weird but not as weird as this: I know of friends (husband & wife I might add) who use the same water in a bath one after the other. Yuk!

  6. You know, I hate the argument that whenever you have a bath you’re sitting in your own muck. It’s such a load of bollocks. It’s like saying that everytime you touch a hand rail you’re contaminating your body with disgusting germs belonging to other people. ie. Probably true to an extent – but how clean do we need to be?

    If you have friends round and do the washing up afterwards, do you empty the sink between each cup or plate or fork? Or is water with bubbles and a bit of old food in it likely to clean just as well as completely clean water?

    Get meeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  7. S.Le
    Thanks, I’m not sure it’s the business for me though!

    fuckwittery
    Weird? Pffft! If only I typed the other stuff…

    Michelle Best
    Thanks! From what I can remember I get bored in a bath too, the novelty wears off after about 5 minutes.

    I remember having to share the bath water with my brother when I was a kid. Never done me any harm… *cough*

    Jo
    Nice rant Jo!
    I know what you mean, but I’m now convinced you wash yourself in mud 😀

    The thing with washing up: my housemates wash things in all the dirty water. I filled a supposedly clean glass with water the other day and a layer of grease sat at the top of it. So I always end up washing stuff again under the tap if I suspect it’s not clean enough (yep, I’m a tool).

  8. Those standy up baths are in the back of the Sunday magazines, with doors to walk in, for old folk who presumably are unable to climb into a bath, or put a kitchen stool in the shower.

    One problem with the idea is that presumably you have to get naked, walk in, close the door, and then fill it with water, which is a shit idea, because the water’s always freezing at first and then gets scalding hot, old grandad won’t like that!

    You should copyright your cubicle of death.

  9. Jaggy
    I’ll have to purchase a Sunday paper to see who’s already ripped off my idea!

    I didn’t think about the water temperature. Don’t spoil it, I could use a hose and lower the odds of drowning Grandad.

    Perpetual
    I have nothing to say *shakes angry fist*

  10. Go Japanese and have a shower before getting in the bath!

    I like baths sometimes because you can sit and drink in them. In a shower the glass never seems to empty … it just gets really watery. hee hee!

    note to correct S.Le: “you could put that on a t-shirt and try to sell them”. hee hee!

  11. When you get a key for the tramps next door, (see my comment on your last blog* ) you could get a copy for yourself and let yourself in to use their bath…. I don’t suspect they will have ever used the bath or even the toilet for that matter, they sound like the sort of people who soil their own underwear and wait for it to dry…..You will of course need to spend the next month in your shower as you try to decontaminate yourself after entering the property. If that does not put you off having a bath then nothing will……

    * What’s going on, nothing for weeks and then two in two days?

  12. planetross
    Sort of defeats the object of it if you have to have both a shower and a bath. My time is valuable!

    dazedlittlemiss
    No idea, I’ve not seen the magazine, but you can get walk-in bath tubs.
    I’ve also gone off the idea of wanting a bath. Baths are so last week.

    BlackLOG
    Given they look like they never clean I wouldn’t like to see the insides of their house. My god, I sound like a Daily Mail reader.

    *I did write them last week, where have you been? Pfft…I’m filing for blog divorce.
    Although admittedly my posts are a bit like buses recently.

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