Not sure if this goes on in other areas of the country now, but there seems to be more and more toilet attendants out in bars and clubs of a weekend nowadays.
If you haven’t come across them: as if you didn’t feel helpless enough already, boxed into a cramped toilet with drunken knobs – quite literally – all over the place. Someone has decided we are now incapable of washing our own hands – and there is money to be made from helping people wash their own hands.
Said toilet attendant squirts soap into your hands, turns the tap on for you and then hands you a paper towel – or they press the hand dryer button for you. There is also, usually, an array of aftershave to use and pieces of chewing gum to take. The cost of this? It’s free. It’s like having your own little butler…who then also expects a tip into his little dish of conveniently placed pound coins and 50p’s.
I’m not sure if its just me, but no matter how many times I walk into the toilet with my brain saying ‘I’m not giving him money, I’m not giving him money, I’m not giving him money” …but after the guy leaps over sinks to squirt some soap into my hands, stops me turning the tap on, turns it off for me, then hands me a paper towel before I’ve even had time to shake the excess away (excess water, from my hands…obviously…) and turn around. I have a massive guilt trip and dig into my pockets trying to feel for a 10p or 20p…only to find pound coins and have my inner brain scream at me, again.
It’s a shit job, but they must make a small fortune in busy bars? Loads of people must get that same guilt trip and give them a pound. Before you know it you’ve spent a fiver just going for a piss.
Mind you it does come in handy: when you happen to be standing next to someone at a metal urinal trough thing…and the guy next to you pisses like a race horse…them people cause all kinds of splash-back terrors. I still don’t feel clean…