Confessional (of sorts)

It often amuses me when I see lads around town, chasing women, desperate to get their end away.  Even when I was 17/18 and there was a weekly group of 10 of us heading into the city centre there would be excited declarations of finding girls.

Maybe its to my detriment, but I’ve never been like that. 

I’ve always been the quiet one at the back: who laughed at my mates bravado and wondered how (and where) they had the confidence from to approach women.  As I look back now, maybe I should’ve been like that too because my confidence is shot when I try and chat up a female. 

A few weeks ago: for the first time in forever, I approached a girl who was sat at a table with a group of friends.  I spluttered something incoherent out and then realised what I was doing…had a mini panic attack moment and had to make my excuses…leaving with my tail between my legs (God loves a trier). 

Even on occasions when girls beckon me over to them (it doesn’t happen often, I’m not exactly a bronzed Adonis) I struggle to find the words…

A. Real. Woman. Wants. Me. To. Talk. To. Her. Oh. My. God. What. Do. I. Say. Now.

Twice in the past two and a half years I’ve managed to get my end away (and I fluked one of them).  That’s bloody shocking statistics (I can’t even use the quality not quantity argument).  I think it may even be longer, but I’m refusing to go back any further!

I’m no oil painting myself, and I’m not blowing my own trumpet here (and neither is anyone else… boom tish!), but I’m not all that…twiceinnearlythreenyears…unforgiving on the eye either.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not moaning about it as such, I know if I made more of an effort half the time I’d do better than I do.  I’m just getting it off my chest; my mates looked at me like I had two heads when I told them of my depravation. 

Even at the weekend, when a (classy) girl showed me her lovely chesticles, I still came home empty handed. 

One part of me actually isn’t that arsed about it:  I couldn’t be more laid back if I was horizontal. 

Another part of me is screaming:  Man The Fuck Up!

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14 thoughts on “Confessional (of sorts)

  1. Hmm. The Designer. I think he is gorgeous. But he hadn’t had his end away in nearly two years before we got horizontal. I didn’t push him for detail, so I don’t know how much effort went into trying – or not. But I was a little surprised that he hadn’t had any action in that long when he’s as cute and clever as he is…

  2. Yeah, man the fuck up 😉

    They’re only girls. Talking to them shouldn’t be any more difficult than talking to anyone else you know. Of course, sharing some similar interests is good starting point, and to get to that you need to ask them about their interests. That’s easy enough. You can do it!

  3. I think you’ll be fine. Sex isn’t everything, and a girl is much more likely to feel safe and comfortable with someone who admits they’ve not been regularly ‘getting their end away’, than with someone who is a constant-shagging disease bucket.

    Try eliminating ‘chesticles’ from your vocabulary, remind yourself that you’re an interesting person (you are) and that a girl with good judgement would be thrilled to talk to you, and then talk to someone who looks nice and friendly. If it doesn’t work out in the sex-way, you might get a good friend out of it. Right?

  4. “chesticles” … I like that one … but it is kind of creepy sounding all the same.
    A few of my friends used to compare “droughts”. I think they were both up to 2 years at one time. They are all married now … and probably should compare notes again. hee hee!

    I’m a lazy opportunist myself … but opportunity knocks sometimes: sometimes I answer and sometimes I can’t be bothered.

  5. Darfuria
    Oh I know, it’s easy…in theory. I’m a great coach to other people, I just can’t put it into practice myself!

    Perpetual
    That made me laugh more than it probably should’ve 😀

    Rosie
    Apologies for the chesticles comment, it’s my childish ‘humour’ seeping out.
    You’re right of course, I know it’s not all about sex. As much as I tell myself these things I still (wrongly) let the negative bit of my brain take over more often than not. Although the friends thing seems to be failing at the min too…but, I need to give myself a kick up the bum about that and stop being negative/para about it 🙂

    planetross
    Lazy oppertunist, sounds about right for me too 🙂

  6. Ermmm part of the problem could be that you think “Classy” women show their tit’s to the lads.

  7. MAte it could be worse, you could be over confident and sleep with everything that moves, catch AIDS and die. Bashfulness ftw!!

  8. I myself would take the shy guy in the corner over the loud center of attention guy everytime. And I don’t want a guy who’s shagged everyone.

  9. After an initial flurry of wonderfully debauched activity with one girl that started when I was 17, between the ages of 19-23, which is supposed to be some kind of peak knocking age, I had zero bonks, gropes, fondles and also zero snogs; I was just too busy and there were only 25 hours in a day and girls, pleasurable and pleasing that they are, didn’t figure. Then I slowed down and things started happening. Maybe you need to slow down a little too?

  10. I can tell what part is writing this, the part that screams for you to man the fuck up. There is nothing to lose (coming from someone with almost similar issues to yours but currently just learning to go for it). I mean really, there are just human beings, you might never even meet some of them again, so it doesn’t matter if you get rejected or not.

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