I want to write a post but I can’t put one together so here’s one in bullet form:

  • I’ve caught up on some much needed sleep (even if it has been aided by a few pints before bedtime)
  • I’ve promised myself to get out of the house everyday, even if its only to go for a walk
  • ‘Going for a walk’ ends up with me going the pub (especially when it starts pissing down)
  • My sister didn’t realise how bad I felt. She cried.
  • Said sister wants me to sign up to internet dating sites (think of the blog fodder there)
  • I’m still not eating much – the knot in stomach/dry mouth is still there, but not as bad as last week.
  • I know I’ve got some form of anxiety/stress
  • If it’s not anxiety/stress then I have bad aids
  • Whilst driving over the hills/valleys/country roads getting to friends house in Leeds, I sang the Postman Pat theme tune to myself
  • Ocean Colour Scene, The Zutons and Doves, on the same bill, for £18 last Saturday in Leeds was a bargain
  • I sang the Postman Pat theme tune again to myself on the way home
  • It was like winter on Sunday.  It’s summer again today
  • My brother has text me to go for a pint tonight
  • I probably make myself sound like an alcoholic on this here blog.
  • I’m not an alcoholic
  • Denial is the first stage to acceptance *cough*
  • Nobody has put any money on the gas meter yet
  • and we’ve ran out of bread

Normal service will be resumed shortly.


21 thoughts on “Update

  1. CS, hope you’re feeling better. Having been in a similar situation recently, your posts struck a chord with me. I’m currently on a course of antidepressants thanks to unexplained feelings of unhappiness, mood swings and general anger in recent months. Ok, the anger’s not so bad, gives me blog fodder. Prozac, though! Bloody annoying, I can’t go pinting to the extent that I like! My main advice, from personal experience, would be to do silly things and laugh often. Wishing you all the best and hope things work out for you.

    Cheers, Govstooge

  2. My advice, listen to the Beatles and Lennon that particular receipt got me through the death of my father in 82.

    Stage 1 – indulge in the misery
    Carry that weight
    One day at a time
    I’m down
    Crippled inside
    Nobody Loves you when your down and out
    I don’t wanna face it

    Stage 2 – See the bright side
    Good Day Sunshine
    Getting better
    Here comes the sun
    I feel fine

    Stage 3 – If all else fails

    Maxwell’s Silver hammer
    I hear mass murder can be very uplifting….but apparently not for the victim

  3. Govstooge – Thanks for the advice. I don’t want to go down the doctors/prozac line (not least because I won’t be able to go the pub!). Although, joking aside I don’t feel that bleak…yet! I’m just in a rut.

    I’ll probably read these posts back next month and wonder what the hell I was on!

    Hope you get through your problems too.

    BlackLOG – You’re comment was hiding in spam for some reason – maybe wordpress knows something I don’t!

    One thing I haven’t done lately is listen to a lot of music. Although I am listening to the voices…the evil voices! Music is the plan tonight, thanks.

    Mass murder would probably relieve a bit of frustration and anger but it’s not a career path I had in mind. You know never though, in a few more weeks…

  4. In the good old days, all you had to do was steal a loaf of bread to get your free, all expenses paid (all be it one-way) ticket to Australia. I suspect you might have to raise the anti these days, so don’t write mass murder off just yet….

  5. Only listen to the voices in your head that have fun things to say. Mass murder, whilst a great stress reliever, will only lead to more stress down the line because of the being on the lam thingy. It sounds like you have good goals in mind. Weather often reeks havoc with my moods. Have fun with your brother. Am also glad to see you are still going to gigs. I’m going through a bit of a rough patch myself because of my work. Makes me want to chuck the whole thing.

    Stiff upper lip, lad! Pip-pip!

    • …and why wouldn’t Postman Pat be happy? I mean driving around the country side in a shiny red van with a beautiful black and white cat! What could be better?

  6. Hey man. I’ve not seen your posts for a while because I’ve bought a new computer, and completely neglected my RSS feed reader. I hope you’re doing a little bit better now.

    Unfortunately, you only get as much out of the world as you put into it. It’s very unlikely something magical will come along and sweep you off your feet unless you make an effort to make a difference. There must be hundreds of things you want to do, or wish you could do – and there’s no reason why you couldn’t give them a go.

    Hell, your boss sounds like he cares – so even if you just said “I’m having a bit of a rough patch, and want some time to find myself” he might be considerate enough to give you a break. If not, there’s always the option to get your doctor to sign you off because of stress/anxiety/depression – if you want to avoid work, that is.

    Just don’t be afraid of talking to people.

  7. S. Le – I don’t really have goals as such that’s half the problem. The only aim I have at the minute is that I want to go to Australia, that’s easier said than done though (although I there may be developments in that area very soon).

    Postman Pat was happy. I love Postman Pat.

    Aye aye cap’n *salutes*

    Darfuria – Up until last week I’d bottled it up for a few weeks but I’ve since spoken to a few of my family. All feel a bit helpless, but all want to help too (hence my Australia plan may come off very much sooner than I expected).

    I thought of taking time off work (which I could easily do) but I think I’d go even more loopy with nothing to do during the day!

    Thanks for the advice.

  8. Well, getting it out is certainly the best first step you can take. I hope you manage to make it to Australia and that sorts you out. In the mean-time, try and find something enjoyable and time-consuming to do.

    Avoid World of Warcraft though 😉

  9. Things have picked up!

    It’s all sunshine and lollipops now.

    From personal experience, the only thing better than making your sister cry … is making all of them cry! (3 sisters crying is a dream/fantasy/goal of mine)

  10. planetross – It’s not possible for me to make 3 sisters cry, you need to live the dream for me…

    blueskies2day – Check behind the couch.

    bevchen – They do indeed and pretty good they were too – took me back 15 years while I was listening to them….15 years, god I’m old!

    Still not all sunshine and roses, but I’m not about to reach for the razor blades either, thanks 🙂

  11. I kind of knew you weren’t feeling right but not this bad. I know just how you feel and it is really hard to shake those “there must be more to life than this” feelings. I can’t really give any good advice as I’m still struggling to sort myself out but talking to friends and family helps.

    I’ve also found that holidays (real holidays not time off work spent sitting around the house) helps – just breaking that routine does wonders for me.

    I hope everything improves for you soon. Take care. 🙂

    • Michelle
      Thanks Michelle. As I’ve said in other comments, I know I need to break the routine up, it’s just finding something which will do that for me – I’m my own worst enemy (I basically want everything laying on a plate for me)! hehe

      I’m not fixed, but I do feel better than when I wrote these posts a few weeks ago.

  12. Everything on a plate? Think that probably describes most of us 😉 Glad you are feeling better, I find that hugging a horse or going for a long ride makes me feel less down in the dumps. A pink trailer covered in flowers tends to make me smile too. Oh heck, truly no hope for me then!!

    • Moonandmuttley
      haha pink trailers covered in flowers sounds a bit too girly for me…but I may try it one day! I’m always weary of horses, always think they are either going to jump and kick me in the balls or just bite my head off.

  13. I think some updations are necessary or precipitationist.

    I’m usually weary of women myself … they do that stuff you mentioned in the last comment sometimes too.
    Kids just tend to kick me in the balls … or their approximate vicinity.

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