Eating Noises

There is a guy in work who sits on the other side of the office.  The guy is OK as it happens, but he has one flaw (apart from his big nose) which makes me want to punch his stupid face to smithereens every lunchtime.

He eats with his mouth open.

I can let most things just go over my head and it takes an awful lot to rile me. But every weekday lunchtime my anger levels boil up.   I wouldn’t mind normally, but it’s not like I’m sitting next to him.  He’s at least 30 feet away and I can hear his horrible mouth smacking noises from my desk.

I’m a very self conscious person and I’m 1 million percent certain that if I ate with my mouth open, I’d realise it and make amends to stop it.

How is it even possible to eat with your mouth open?   I once tried to be that freak (whilst nobody else was around) just to see if I was missing out on some pleasurable eating experience, but I can’t do it.  I don’t understand how, or the need, to open my mouth in the middle of a good munch.  Are these people short of breath mid-chomp?   If so, why can’t they use their nose?  That’s what it’s for you freaks.

Stop annoying the normal folk.

There’s no doubt about it, these people were brought up feral.

*and breath*

I feel better now.

P.S. Apologies to Jo for nicking her blog title for the subject of this post.  Go visit: Please Don’t Eat With Your Mouth Open


10 thoughts on “Eating Noises

  1. You’re excused. Needless to say, I feel your pain.

    My aversion to this rankus habit is so bad that I can’t even watch people from a distance eating / chewing gum with their mouth open. The very act, even minus the sound, irritates the hell out of me.

    Basic manners = not showing other people the inside of your mouth. Fact.

  2. If so, why can’t they use their nose? That’s what it’s for you freaks.

    I would have thought that watching someone eat with their nose, unless they were an elephant, would be pretty horrific.

    I once sneezed coke (the drink and please note it was reverse of snorted) through my nose I bet you would have had something to write about if you had seen that.

  3. I hate people who eat with their mouth open. Even when I have a cold and can’t actually breathe through my nose I can’t bring myself to open my mouth while eating – I’ll wait until I’ve swallowed my mouthful then spend the next few minutes gasping for breath like someone who’s just run a marathon…

  4. Oh God snot-suckers! We went to the theatre on Wednesday and the third quarter was completely ruined by people three or four people noisily sucking/snorting their phlegm back up their nasal passages. Gross!

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