Pigeons

It can’t be just me that has noticed this, but are pigeons starting to breed like rabbits or something?  The flying bastards are everywhere and their getting braver too.

It wasn’t too long ago (when all this was just fields), that pigeons would be shit scared of humans.  You’d only have to get within about 10 meters of one and they’d shit themselves and fly away.  You could stamp your foot by one, just to show it who was boss, and it’d shit itself and fly up to the nearest building.  You’d be able walk away with your chest pushed out and head held high.

Nowadays, your 6 feet away (or closer) before the little bastards will move.  Even then they just make a quick hop the other way, whilst wondering which part of your body it will peck to death first.

Like a group of cocky teenagers you never see a pigeon on it’s own either.  They’re always in a little group ready to take you on.  Why don’t they fly away anymore?  I bet Charles Darwin never foreseen this evolution of the pigeon.  When did they become birds of steel?  Evolution, or some kind of natural selection dark magic?  Even when you drive at them they just sidestep out of the way (I’ve never done this on purpose, honest guv’…). grouppigeons

The revolution is coming.  Within 10 years the flying rats will have taken over the world.  We’ll all have to sit on park benches and underneath statues,  feeding our feathered kings bits of bread and whatever other shit they eat.

Imagine if they were just a little bit bigger…they’d be able to swoop down, pick up a human and fly away.  Even worse than Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds, it’d be absolutely terrifying walking through town.

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11 thoughts on “Pigeons

  1. The odd thing about pigeons (well, I think so) is that you never see baby ones or dead ones (except for those squashed by buses). Anyway, there are tons of them in London and it is true they don’t fly away anymore – I blame the tourists for feeding them 🙂

  2. S. Le – great song!

    Jo – I haven’t seen a fox for beards. However it seems all these animals need showing who is boss around these here parts.

    Michelle – Affirmative.
    Humans are spoiling them, I agree. Time for a cull on the tourists!

  3. The boldest pigeons I’ve ever seen were in Rome. They’re not scared of anything! Here they at least still move when kids chase them.

    In Tübingen we saw a giant bird house that the town had set up for pigeons. They put food there to encourage the pigeons to go there and build their nests, then when thee pigeons lay eggs they are replaced with clay balls and the real eggs destroyed. It seems to be working… we hardly saw any pigeons there.
    In the contract for my flat it specifically states that I am not allowed to feed the pigeons anywhere on the grounds of the building.

    • bevchen – That sounds quite sensible actually (the clay ball thing) if they are breeding out of control. It’s odd how a 6 inch bird can take over.

      …the revolution…it’s coming…

  4. Well, they are the cities aboveground rats. They live off of anything and just -survive- anything. I’m sure they’re made of stainless steel inside.

  5. They get braver because of all the toxins they drink in the city water. Thats why there coloring is more darker colored and why many of are suffering from diseases. Country pigeons or ones living in the suburbs are a little larger and a lot more healthier.

    The birds in the city have no choice but to drink water in city streets, and it results in disfigurations and tendencies to act like a crackead. But keep in mind, many of these birds are descendants of domesticated pigeons that European settlers had brought to north america, so technically there not suppose to be scared of us at all.

    How do I know all this? I raise white homing pigeons for weddings. So I know how and why city birds are so fucked up

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