When I started this blog, the idea of it being anonymous was that it’d be somewhere I’d just type out any old ramblings without a care in the world. It’d be somewhere I can say things without being too worried what anyone thinks, after all nobody reading this knows me in real life.
I never factored in that people would keep reading and I’m humbled that people do keep coming back and reading my nonsense. So some of you will know that I do continue to post nonsense ramblings! But as time has gone on, as anonymous as I try and keep it, why do I find myself self-censoring myself more than I’d like to?
I read a lot of blogs and it’s easy to build up a picture (or an idea) of what someone is like through the words you read. My idea may be wide of the mark, or it may be spot on, but I still put personalities to the people behind the words (he/she is funny / sounds like they’d be a good laugh / a bit mental / speaks their mind / is a dickhead / similar personality to me etc etc, you get the idea).
Therefore I suspect some people have put a personality to me too. Therein lies my problem.
I’ll probably never ever meet a single person who has read this blog, so I shouldn’t care what I type about (or worry about what people think of me), no one knows me and it’s my blog, so I’ll type as I please. A ‘you can’t please all of the people all of the time’ type attitude. But I still have a little voice at the back of my head saying “you can’t type that, people will get the wrong idea” or people’s attitude towards me would change if I mentioned this or that. So I stop myself and in half my ramblings I only type half the story. Something that I never intended to do in the first place.
It’s stupid really because it’s just my words on a screen. It’s not like anyone reads this, then would come up to me in the street and call me a knobhead for what I’ve written…hopefully not anyway!
Unfortunately, tabloid newspaper fans, there isn’t going to be some kind of front page headline where I suddenly announce that I’m a Filipino cross dresser (no offence to Filipino cross dressers).
But I did wonder if other people limited what they write about? Does it bother you what people, who read your blog, think about you? Or do you just think ‘fuck it’ and type away anyway?