Sponge Coffee Tables…it’s the future

I go away for a few days and the catastrophe’s happen across the globe.  Not only does a plane go missing in that pond – ala Lost (they’ll no doubt be found soon on a healing island – where a crippled man can now walk and some bloke is scared of a set of numbers).  Then a women – who looks like a haunted tree – loses a talent show and apparently goes radio rental.

I think you’ll agree, I show a lot of empathy to the news, but I knew the place would fall apart if I left it to it’s own devices for a few days.

Now, to cap it all off, Microsoft have finally invented something I predicted when I was 14.  Unlike them hover boards in Back to the Future II – the future is finally here:

Whilst playing Sensible Soccer on the Commodore Amiga (probably just after I’d conceded another goal and smashed the joystick against the wall in computer rage), the broken joystick gave me my eureka moment. Admittedly it wasn’t much of a eureka moment, but leave me in glory for just a minute….I predicted a game where you control the players with only your body movements and actually kick the ball/thin air instead of button pushing.  Unfortunately, I’ve never been clever enough, had enough money, or more importantly, actually been that arsed to even try to make it happen.  But some bright spark at Microsoft has.  Whether it lives up to what they say it will do or not, that’s another matter.  It may just end up being a glorified Eye Toy/Wii but I, for one, can’t wait to be breaking my toes against a coffee table whilst playing Sensible Soccer 2012.

At the time, whilst picking up the broken joystick pieces from the floor as a young 14 old scamp, I did not have the foresight to think that I’d need lots of money in the future.  I was only concerned with kicking thin air whilst playing computer games.  But given this one has come true, I’m now also predicting I’ll be a multi billionaire within 5 years.  Stranger things have happened.

Someone now needs to invent a sponge coffee table.



10 thoughts on “Sponge Coffee Tables…it’s the future

  1. CS“I predicted a game where you control the players with only your body movements and actually kick the ball/thin air instead of button pushing.”

    Why not just grab a ball, get some friends and go and play down the Local park. If you must include a coffee table in the equation, take it with you and use it as a goalpost, while the fat snotty kid that no one likes can act as the other post…..
    Now if I could bottle that I could create a global business (Except for the states, cause they are unlikely to win. Never stops us Brits though), that over pays, tax avoiding, tantrum throwing, WAG owning players with all the taste of an Essex girl let loose in TK Maxx with a £10 note ….

    • BlackLOG – I agree completely, at the time, I was a young whipper snapper who played football constantly. Home from football when it was too dark (or got dragged in by parents) and then onto Sensi and smashing joysticks!

      This business idea though…I’ll give you that £10 for 90% of your business. I’ll even be a silent partner…bargain…

  2. CSI’m tempted, it’s a better offer than those bloody Dragons offered me. They wanted 150% of the business, each, and I had to pay them £10 and be there silent partner……

  3. C-N-S: Stick with the classic peripherals with tangible apparatuses. Until that sponge coffee table gets invented, you look like an idiot kicking the thin air.

  4. I’m waiting for a game where you play with a virtual joystick (hopefully the Atari 2600 variety) and have a virtual screen full of virtual astroids or space invaders or pacmans up to virtual destruction that must be virtually stopped.

    note: I wish there were virtual quarters when I was a kid.

    double note: I’m from Canada by accident and used things like quarters at one time.

  5. BlackLOG – see, it’s a bargain…this time next year Rodney…

    Tammy – That’s a very good point. Especially if I’m as useless on that as a Nintendo Wii. On my very first attempt on Wii bowling I smashed a full pint glass all over the living room. Ooops.

    Planetross – That joystick was a joy to (be)hold. As was some other one which I can’t remember the name of (no doubt I hurled that at the wall too).

    Note: no idea why, but I always presumed you were American.

  6. While you’re trying to change the future how about predicting a brilliant new job for me?

    I had an Amiga too.. in fact, I think we even still have it (although half the games don’t work any more). We didn’t have sensible soccer though, just Vectorball… the one with the football playing robots.

  7. bevchen – My powers only work once every 15 years. But, if you get stuck…people need sponge coffee tables 😀

    Vectorball rings a bell with me, although Speedball was the king of robot football games!

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