Laxative Pizza

I don’t normally get fast food after I’ve been out, but getting a pizza at 2am seemed like good idea at the time (like sending drunken text messages, it’s only the next day when you regret it).  Today’s pizza regret comes in the form of the shits.  I’ve already spent half of today on the toilet, I swear I’ve lost about 1/2 a stone in the past 5 hours!

I won’t learn my lesson because I think a few months ago the same place and same pizza done the same to me last time too. 

“Can I have a hot and spicy pizza, with extra laxatives please?”

Like a dog which needs house training, I’ll just have to rub my nose in the pizza until I’ve learnt my lesson.  I think it’s passed now (in more ways than one) and I’m all solidified up again. 

In other news, even though I woke up at 7.30am, I was hangover free.  Not sure what’s going on there, something isn’t right! Tempted to go the pub today, but it’s a guaranteed certainty that if I do I won’t be hangover free for work tomorrow.

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6 thoughts on “Laxative Pizza

  1. I think if you leave a slice of the aforementioned laxative pizza, and carry it around with you the next day, sniffing it, maybe trying to eat a bit as you sit on the toilet and pass the rest of it in liquid form, your brain might make the connection and you’ll be put off it forever.

    Give it a go

    (next time)

  2. I have to agree with S.Le: I think you should “laxatate” on this for a while … possibly on the bog.
    When I’m in the sheets that are windy … or just pissed … I test my stomach with all sorts of stuff: it’s like I turn in to a Fear Factor contestant or culinary Ironman for some reason.

    • Jo – Your training methods have been noted and I will endeavor to put it into practice next time 😀

      S. Le – It went somewhere…maybe I’m becoming immune, whoo hoo!

      planetross – I now have visions of you eating dog food…and drinking oil. It cures the squeaking joints if nothing else…

  3. “Alcologic” from the Urban Dictionary:

    Explanations given by a person who has been drinking and that only make sense to them…

    “Just ignore Louis. His is using alcologic again.”

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