As everyday goes on in work, I find myself with even more forms to sign. It’s a never ending deluge of papers which needs signing. It’s no great shakes, I’m not authorising the transfer of millions of pounds to my off shore bank account. I’m signing stuff for the ever boring ‘audit trail’ which we need. So much for the electronic world, we might as well be back in the 50’s.
I spend so much time signing stuff, that I decided to find out how long. In order to analysis this I had to use a complicated mathematical equation known as the Cynical Scribble Signature Factor…
On most bits of paper I sign I have to place my autograph and print my name. Even with a squiggle for an autograph, my 10 letter surname and 1 letter initial take up most of the time to ‘print name’ alongside my signature. Did I hear you ask me how long? Yes I did…well, it takes me 8 seconds on average. Add another 3 seconds to add the date and that makes 11 seconds per signature. Wowzers.
I sign on average 25 files per day, so: 25 files x 52 seconds=1300 seconds.
That gives us a Cynical Scribble Signature Factor of 21 minutes and 6 seconds per day.
Are you still with me? Good. Pay attention at the back.
If we put that sum into a working week: 21.6 minutes x 5 days=108.3 minutes (or 1 hour 48 minutes and 3 seconds). 1 hour 48 minutes signing my name per week. And then into a working month: 108.3 x 4 weeks = 433.2 minutes.
Which now gives us a new Cynical Scribble Signature Factor of 7 hours 12 minutes per month.
That’s nearly a working day (not including lunch), just signing my name every month. Amazing.
Let’s say there are 46 working weeks per year (minus Holidays etc). Which leaves us with 230 working days or (as I know you’ve just worked out in your head) 299000 seconds, of which I spend time signing my name every year. It could also be shown as 4983 minutes and 3 seconds. Or 83 hours, whatever you prefer.
This now gives us (and I know you’re excited) a new Cynical Scribble Signature Factor…drum roll please…
A Cynical Scribble Signature Factor of 3 days 11 hours per year.
I need a shorter name.