I can’t be bothered putting together a coherent post. So here are some bits and bobs from the last few days:
- My new trainers have given me a blister on my heel. I’d say its ripped half my heel off, but in reality it’s only about a centimetre. Fret not dear reader, for I have made amends with some miracle blister plasters so I’ll be A-OK soon. I just wanted a little groan.
- For a long time, I always thought Jason Donovan was gay. I was shocked when I found out he wasn’t at the weekend. Well, not shocked, but surprised enough to raise my eyebrows in a ‘really?’ type way.
- If there is anything more satisfactory than picking a scab off your skin then I’m yet to find it (see point number 1). Even if you know it’s going to make it worse and take twice as long to heal….just rip it off. Start picking, watery feeling in your mouth, pick some more, peel it off…ahhhhh bliss.
- I’m still turning into a giggling 16 year old when an attractive girl smiles at me. I’m also continually kicking myself for not doing anything about it. 3 times (which is a record in itself), at various points over the weekend, I shit out. One I thought was way out of my league anyway, but I just turn into a combined version of Richie and Eddie from Bottom. Go me…or not!
- Given my long standing single status (and my inability to approach attractive females – see above), some of my family suddenly think I should dive into the world of internet dating. Whilst it would probably provide some fantastic blogging material, it would also give them and my mates piss taking rights for the next century, I think I’m starting to be their pet project in the relationship stakes, so it’s a big fat no from me!
- I fitted new wiper blades to my car on Saturday. Since then I’ve been waiting for it to rain so I can marvel at their new swishy washy powers. I finally got a chance to marvel at them today. They swishy washy very good now. I’m no longer worried about killing someone when it rains.
- Attempting to swat a fly in a bar makes half the bar mistakenly wave at you. But also makes you look dead popular.
- I think I’m becoming a closet Take That fan.
- I’ve gone to the trouble of finding out how, and why, motorways in the UK are numbered as they are. If you don’t already know, don’t bother finding out, it’s not very interesting.
- In his past, my boss has been attacked by a
dwarfvertically challenged person.
- Road Rage is a fantastic end to the day. Not one, but two cars blocking junctions within 10 meters of each other at rush hour, just so they could get that extra half a yard – as if it was going to make a difference to their journey time. I lost 10 minutes of my life sitting at them junctions. Some woman jumped out of her car to shout through the passenger window at the other driver. My windows went down and radio off in expectancy of a fight which didn’t materialise. I wasn’t that bothered but I tutted, waved a couple of angry fists and bopped my horn to join in the general frustration…that’ll show them.
- Yes, my life has been THIS exciting in the past 7 days.