I’ve never fainted in my life – apart from when I was about 10 and I fell over (ahem) because I wanted to stay off school – it didn’t work.
I nearly fainted when I had my toenail removed when I was about 16, but the nurse seen me turn white and made me lay down instead of watching (if you ever need your toenail removed, don’t watch! It’s grown back now by the way). However I very nearly fainted last night.
There I was in the bathroom having a piss and all of a sudden I went all wobbly. I started swaying (I hadn’t even had alcohol) so I tried to grab hold of the windowsill to steady myself, but I missed and it got worse and I started seeing double for a second. Like a boxer on the ropes, my arms were flaying all over the place to try and get the windowsill to stay up. I had a brief flash of cracking my head on the toilet bowl, falling through the shower cubicle and being sliced to death by the shower screen thing. What a way to go that would’ve been!
As you can tell I survived my near death experience. No idea why I went like that though. Maybe I stood up too quick and my body got too excited at going the toilet.
Most importantly, even in all the swaying, my piss didn’t even miss the bowl. Go me!