When you read things wrong

homerdrool On the menu on Saturday I spotted Beef Wellington.  I’d never had it before and my mouth was salivating of Homer Simpson style proportions at the thought of the feast ahead of me.  I was actually going to eat Beef Wellington – without sounding like I’m from the time that land forgot, I’ve only ever seen chefs cook it on TV before now.  My one chance to eat it and I was going to grasp it with both hands and drooling lips.

Whilst waiting for the food, a few people asked what I ordered…

CS: “Beef Wellington”

Other people: “Was that on the menu, I didn’t see it on there?”

CS: “Yep, at the bottom-ish” feeling rather pleased with myself that I happened to be the only one to spot it.

I got some confused looks at this point.

OP: “I don’t think it was you know, I think it was some vegetable thing”

CS: “errrm are you sure? I definitely seen beef on the menu and I ordered the wellington”

The doubts had already started in my head when all the other food had arrived apart from mine.   My mind was telling me: ‘They think you’re a veggie or a vegan ‘the awkward one’ that’s why you still haven’t got yours’. 

Low and behold, finally, my plate of ‘Vegetable Wellington’ arrived in front of me.

CS: “Bollocks”

In the end it was actually quite nice.  Not as nice as a beef one I’m sure…so close, yet so very far…


8 thoughts on “When you read things wrong

  1. Not being a vegetable fan, I would starved rather then eat them. I’m not even tempted by the thought of them wrapped in rubber, tempting as it is…

    Other things to tempt you if you have not tried them already

    Baked Alaska – Don’t let it’s recent association with a rottweiler with a hockey stick put you off….

    Marmalade Bread & Butter pudding – If you can make a marmalade sandwich, crack an egg, open a bottle of milk and turn on an oven what’s stopping you….

  2. Being a semi-veggie I would have been wild with excitement at seeing a Vegetable Wellington on a menu instead of the usual goats cheese tart or vegetable lasagna. Saying that, if I had been served a Beef Wellington instead I would have said “bollocks” as well!

  3. What’s the fuckin point in that. If it said “Beef Wellington, (small letters, suitable for vegetarians” then it’s just fuckin vegetable wellington! The vegetarians are jealous of the normal omnivores diet and seem to want to call everything the same name as the meat equivalent. There is no such thing as vegetarian steak pie, it’s just vegetable pie! No such thing as meat free sausages, they are vegetable and soya tubes!

    I would have sent it back to the fuckin kitchen mate and ordered the biggest fuckin steak on the menu. Then sued them under the trades description act.

    Sorry for the rant, I’ve had a glass of wine.

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