Running dead fast

rainrun That Bolt chap ran dead dead dead fast didn’t he?  Wowzers.  I haven’t been watching that much of the Olympics but even I managed to mutter ‘fucking hell’ as he coasted it.  He stopped trying with about 20m to go as well.

I used to own a pair of ‘fast trainers’ when I was about 5.  The colour, pattern and the grip on the sole of the shoe made them fast.  I was constantly being timed running around the house fetching things for people; slippers, pens, newspapers etc.  Little did I realise that my family took advantage of my fast shoes, using me as a slave for a few days whilst I thought I’d become Billy Whizz.

Unfortunately Gola/Adidas two stripe/or any other generic trainer I was subjected to made to wear, were not fast.  Why didn’t they make gold trainers when I was a kid?  Not only would I have been beaten senseless round by mine – I could’ve been Olympic champion by now.

And also currently being subjected to a zillion drug tests.  Probably.


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