Shopping Channels

bstn39l I get drawn into shopping channels late at night when I can’t sleep.  Whilst being utterly stupid they are, at the same time, utterly fascinating.

I particularly like the demonstrations involving cleaning products.  A thin layer of dirt covers the floor or carpet and a hoover or cloth apparently made from mithril cleans it up.  You could wash it with a children’s plastic hoover, but oh no.  You need this product and you NEED to buy it tonight, at tonight’s special introductory price of £235.97.  It won’t be coming back to us here at <insert the name of any shopping channel> so you have to buy tonight.  Also buy 3 bottles of amazing magical cleaner bog standard cleaning product for an amazing £12.92 each.

“Someone on the telly is telling me something, it’s true.  Buy, buy, buy.  Quick, they are selling out!”

Whilst in the warehouse they have mountains of boxes of the stuff.  People must fall for it.

It’s amazing how many different descriptions and advantages there are to having something like a potato peeler ‘Multi Slicing and Peeling Tool’:

“as well as peeling spuds like a pro, you can also use this as a murder weapon.  Not one, but two….TWO practical uses.  It’s a 2 in 1 device ladies and gentlemen.  Every home should have one……the phones are on meltdown I’m being told.  Please be patient you will get through.”

How do they get away with it?  It’s comedy without realising.  The other night, in July, the height of summer,  they were selling Christmas decorations.  It’s fantastic insomniac TV!

Although, whisper it quietly, I have secretly always wanted one of these food slicer things!



3 thoughts on “Shopping Channels

  1. LMAO dude! A kids plastic hoover LOL!! My mum is addicted to QVC and she actually had the xmas special on…it was called ‘Christmas in July….’ it’s comedy at its best!

  2. Its so addictive as well…I can’t even help it, I’ll turn onto a shopping channel and start off just mocking it. Before I know it I’ve watched for about 15 mins, then half hour.

    Never buy anything though, I’m too clever to fall for their silly tricks.

    That peeler looks bloody cool though. You can shred anything! Anything!

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