“Get in! Don’t be a receipt, don’t be a receipt, don’t be a receipt.”
You get that same little twinge of excitement you get just as you are about to unwrap a present.
You don’t take it out of your pocket instantly though, you pretend you’re blind and try and work out what it is. If it’s a bit glossy, you know it’s a receipt and your dreams of riches are shattered instantly. If it’s crumpled up paper, you can cling onto those dreams of buying a few more pints a bit longer.
“Whoo hoo, it doesn’t feel glossy…but it’s crumpled up, it could be anything”
Your excitement reaches fever pitch and you quickly try to remember the last time you wore the jeans to work out what it is. Money or receipt, money or receipt. Bollocks, you can’t remember. So you take your hand out and take a sneaky peek before your hand is even out of your jeans. You big cheater!
“WHOO HOOO, £25, I’VE WON!”
You check your other pockets and have the cheek to feel slightly cheated you haven’t found anymore.
I found £15 in another pair of jeans last week too. I thought I’d spent a bit more than I’d reckoned lately too – no wonder. Unfortunately, this doesn’t happen a lot. More often than not, it turns out to be a receipt for deodorant from Boots rather than money.