I always feel a bit self concious when I go shopping, as if everyone is forming an opinion on me the minute they see me pick something up. I don’t like the idea of people knowing what I’m buying. Like going to the shop to buy toilet roll, you can’t just buy toilet roll and toilet roll alone because people will know you’re about to poo your pants. So you have to buy a paper or some sweets or just something else.
I’m sure my monthly ‘big shop’ screams out ‘single male’ to the person at tills and the queue behind me. I end up shoving everything in the bags as quick as possible…and get home with squashed bread everytime.
Last time I went shopping though, I ended up with a trolley with it’s wheels locked by them magnetic things they have to stop the tramps and scallys stealing them. I didn’t think it would be a problem as I pushed it inside the store and started making my way around. I’m not the type of person to go and get a better trolley either – it’s like I get a little voice in my head to not make a fuss – like it’s a big fuss to just select the next trolley. So I pushed on.
Half way around the isles the trolley started to become unbearable. I was turning corners worse than a bus or a heavey goods vehicle does. Big massive arcs just to try and make the bend. I even turned into a Formula 1 driver and started taking the corners using a racing line but it didn’t help much. It was too late at this point to get a new trolley, my trolley picking pride had been damaged and it was too late to run back to get another one. I’d picked my trolley and I had to suffer the consequences.
It was only when I was exiting the store that an employee by the door recognised I was in need of assistance – probably because by this point I was sweating cobs. But his magic wheel unlocker thing wasn’t working. Typical! So I forged on. Not only did the trolley then get stuck on the rubber mat but pushing it over the car park was worse.
If I wasn’t self concious to begin with, then people staring at me wondering why I can’t steer a trolley, why I was pulling it, or that I was stealing it, was worse than just having them look in my bags.
I might stick to a ‘little shop’ using a basket this month.