I have to write up appraisals for my staff in work.  Not only do they hate having to go through the process, I hate it too.  Why?  because it doesn’t mean anything, it’s one persons opinion against another’s.  Maybe it’s because I work for a small company but I’m yet to have an appraisal which I would consider productive.  It’s a Human Resources paper exercise. 

Last year it was commented by the directors that I was too lenient in writing my appraisals for my staff.  I was even marked down in my own appraisal because ‘sometimes you don’t shave and have stubble’.  It’s a fair point – if I dealt with customers face to face.  But as I sit in an office and see no customers or external contacts I burst out laughing.  My ‘stubble’ days are the extra one days growth you accumulate when I can’t be arsed to shave in the morning, not like a fully unkept tramp beard.

paperwork So I have to sit through the appraisal process with my staff in the next few weeks and tell them what I think of them in my best teacher/boss role.  They will nod with all the enthusiasm of a dying leper, give me some stick because I don’t let them sit on Facebook all day, then that will be it for another year. 

I’m desperately trying not to make them sound like school reports though.  I even sound like a teacher/boss.   “Joe has to be more proactive in his role…” was the first sentence I wrote on one last week.    I don’t even know what I meant by it but it sounded quite good!  I’m refusing to use office speak/power words or bullshit that people use.  I just know they’ll end up sounding like school reports though, the only thing missing will be a ‘not good enough…see me – F’ annotation.


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